The hardest yet most rewarding job I have ever had was becoming a mother. It requires no interview, no prerequisites (besides having a uterus), and comes with no instructions.
Before Kian was born I think I read every book I could get my hands on about pregnancy. I did the same with babies, but babies don’t fit into nice neat little boxes - like if he’s screaming he’s hungry….yeah, that could be one of the things he’s needing but it could also mean he’s bored, he’s tired, he’s wet….you get the picture. A lot of mothering is done by feel and by how well you know your baby. It takes time, using trial and error, and making mistakes – those mistakes are the hardest for a mom to take…believe I know first hand.
All three of us had a rocky start. When I was pregnant I thought I would have a med free birth – all natural. Well, it didn’t end up that way. Kian was stuck and I had to have a c-section. The road was bumpy one for us from the start – I almost died two days after giving birth, Kian had problems breastfeeding, and I soon found out that the crying he was doing all the time wasn’t “normal” after attending a class with other mom’s and newborns and getting a lot of stares because I wasn’t able to calm Kian down. Talk about feeling helpless! At least we found some things that worked for Kian but it was still pretty colicky or irritable for the first 7 months of his life (which is 4 months past the colic stage). Who knows why he was that way, but let me tell you that if I told someone that who only knew him today they would not believe me! Kian is a very happy toddler – well he has his moments but don’t we all.
Apart of being a mom is not only the caring and giving of yourself to this little person but it also means that you need to be willing to let them fly on their own. A few weeks ago Kian turned two and I have to say those two years have flown by so fast! A while ago I was putting away some of Kian’s clothes from when he was a baby and it was so hard to believe that he fit in them! I’m happy my little guy is growing up but at the same time I’m sad too!
Somedays cleaning and cooking calls my name and the day gets away from me. It’s those days that I realize I haven’t spent a lot of time with Kian….it’s also those days that I need to remind myself that two-years-old only happens once in his lifetime and I need to cherish every moment. No one will remember that my kitchen was clean on May 19, 2006 but I know that I will remember the laughter and fun me and Kian had on that day – I think I choose Kian over my dirty kitchen :)
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