Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Desire to mend what was lost....

Why do people hold grudges? I mean, yeah, I can see when someone is wronged you – you shouldn’t forget it so you can protect yourself in the future from that person…but forgiveness should be extended. I have been on both sides of this coin…where I have grudges held against me and where I have had the opportunity to hold one myself. I’m not perfect, but I would like to think I don’t have any grudges against anyone. I have not forgotten some wrongs and won’t allow for things to ever go there again with those people. And I don’t throw the ill behavior in the face of that person over and over again.

Also, sometimes there is more than one side to a story. The current grudge I am thinking about is one held against me – one that is a very hurtful because it has made a relationship with this person near impossible. This said person has a made up story behind what happened and has decided to believe. They also haven’t even heard my side of the story because, well, they refused to even talk to me about it. I can’t even speak to this person without feeling attacked in a very personal way. The funny thing is that the event occurred about a year and a half ago and the hurt is still there like it was the day it happened.

Part of me wants to try to “kiss this person’s feet” so to speak and make things right. The other part of me doesn’t want to play that game because, well, I did nothing wrong and actually tried to call and apologize for what happened right when it happened. I’m not this person’s you-know-what list with no way of coming off unless they decide to extend some mercy my way. Although, I believe that’s very doubtful.

Man, why do I have to think about this junk today! Bleh….I wish it would just go away….

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